!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$# ei9h7 @! 8 !@ 31ght @! Prank Calls !@ e1gh7 @! Alienbinary !@ eIGHT !@#$%^&*()(*&^%$# [ intr0 ] Alot of people beleive that prank calling is a childish and immature..but it's an art. Given that there are always people that will call up, say "penis" and hang up it gets a bad reputation. However, the art of prank calling is this. how do you keep it interesting for both parties, so that no one is bored, how do you keep it funny, yet not rude, and how do you find out whether the operator you're talking too is cool with it? I have some rules for calling: 1) try to keep the vulgarity to a minimum because some assholes get offended and will hang up. 2) how do you get a good intro so that the operator doesn't hang up. 3) how do you not offend the operator, so that they don't call back, and trace you. 4) always be clever. It's not only irritating for the operator to get asked about their refridgerator, but it's also stupid. 5) keep up the conversation, and try and act like you are serious. 6) the operator only gets into it if you do. 7) if there is a pause, then hang up; it is possibly a trace. I know from experience. 8) if you get the impression that the operator is a dick right off the bat, then hang up. [ b0dy ] . .ยด\ / \ .------------------------ \/ ' Alien talks to the nynex operator (411) *** tone, and then james earl jones says "welcome to bell atlantic" Recording: What city? alienbinary: Mars Recording: What listing? alienbinary: Marvin *** tone, then "hold please" Operator: Is that local? alienbinary: uh... yes... Operator: In massachussetts? alienbinary: uh, yeah, sure, it's near belmont... Operator: I don't see it... alienbinary: *amused* oh, it's there... Operator: I really don't see it, are you sure? alienbinary: It's also near springfield. Operator: I'm looking at all the possible listings, I don't see it. alienbinary: you don't have it on a map? Operator: no, sorry, sir. alienbinary: shit, that sucks. They should give you one. Operator: yeah. alienbinary: alright, well thanks anyway. *clik* Alien Calls Gateway Operator: Hello, and thank you for calling gateway, my name is XXXXX, what's your's? Alien: My name's XXXXX. Operator: Ok, sir, and how may I help you? Alien: Do you sell microwaves? Operator: As in microwave ovens? Alien: Yeah, like those. Operator: No, gateway is a computer company. Alien: And you don't make microwaves? Operator: No. Alien: You can't put popcorn in computers, can you? Operator: No. Alien: Do you know of any places that sell microwaves? Operator: Try an appliance store. Alien: Alright, thanks. *clik* Alien Talks to SNET employees (CT telco) Some SNET guys came to a therapeutic boarding school I'm locked up in (surprise, surprise.. lotta hackers, more pirates, though). They came to fix the phones. ShaShi and I walked up and started talking to them. I asked them if I could play with the handset, they said sure. I was like, oh shit, it's got int'l codes! The guys gave me a look like I had pubic hair on my forehead, then they asked me what that was. I told them that their handset ruled, and I wanted it. Unfortunately, the ten bucks I offered didn't compare to ShaShi's $250. Oh well, at least they told me I could have any extra trucks... I think they were kidding. I don't care, I already picked the one I want out. It has cat five and ISDN cable too. Fucking dedicated lines... I only have a 56k... That means it has crimping tools. That means more toys! I like toys... When I was younger people had action figures. I had a modem... oh well... Alien Calls SNET's low rates operator I was going to call SNET, but as I waited for the operator to pick up, I heard the guy say "I'm going to kill someone if this is another damn kid". I think I pushed him too hard previously. Oh well.. if he jumps out the window, I'll steal his headset. Alien Fuqz with Microcock I once went into a Staples, it's an office supply chain if you don't know. I went to the computer section and stole all the microsoft mail-in rebate forms, the microsoft customer service forms, the windoze 98 pamphlets and everything else and I walked to the aisle with the paper shredders. I shredded all the microdick shit. Next, I printed "hack the planet" on those label makers, and put them all over the computers. They sort of flipped out... Alien hax0rz an AirTouch Pager *** dialtone *** 1800XXXXXXX (note: this was the number of the payphone I used with the 1800 prefix instead. It just happened to be a pager.) pager: beep beep beep alien: (wtf?! it's a pager) *clik* *** I get an idea phone: dialtone alien: 1800XXXXXXX pager: beep beep beep alien: 918509 (gibson, with a 9 for an "n") alien: # pager: thank you for using airtouch paging! *** speed kicks in again! !#(&@(#&(@&(*##$@#@!#@@#@$^$*&!@^!&@ Alien Does Some Scanning 1-800-7672676 ; left obscene voicemails 1-800-BLOWJOB ; can't be called from payphone 1-800-POKEMON ; busy signal 1-800-333FILM ; got modem signals 1-800-HOOKERS ; voiceprompt, then CC# request. 1-800-SEXLINE ; can't be called from payphone 1-800-FUCKYOU ; got new number: 1478328223 (?!) 1-800-LOVEGOD ; got voice menu, ordered shit I don't ; need to some other fucker. 1-800-6541234 ; not toll free 1-800-BEAVERS ; pbx for "dial-800" (gay?!) 1-800-HOTMAMA ; not payphone reachable 1-800-ASSGRAB ; payphone shit 1-800-2459896 ; some fag in china rikey my airtouch pagey skillz 1-800-HACKERS ; consumer resource center (?!) 1-800-4652851 ; pager, includes functions. hax0r3d! 1-800-GETLAID ; payphone shit 1-800-9999999 ; the covenent house crisis center 1-800-8417456 ; modem 1-800-FALWELL ; medical center, voice menu 1-800-GAYPORN ; fag sex line 1-800-HOTTITS ; payphone bullshit 1-800-FEM4FEM ; I think it said home castration.... and bluebox products... WTF?! Alien asks random person if they fear the raid ab: do you phear the raid? rp: huh? ab: it's just a question, do you phear the raid. rp: if I was a bug... (nervous laugh) ab: shut up, and answer the question. Do you phear it? rp: what the fuck is the raid? ab: well?! (I tormented him for a while) he phears it now... Alien and Cheezi tell off some bitchass fag ab: did you hear? ben wants to learn c/++! cz: yeah, I gave him like 8 books from the basement. ab: hehe cz: I gave him visual basic too. ab: yeah, he needs to start low. cz: that's what I told him. ab: he's gonna hang himself when he starts c. cz: I know. ab: I think he's a great kid, but he will kill himself. fg: he's gonna... cz: shut up fag! at least he wants to learn. fg: unlike me. (he gives out a nervous laugh, because it's true) ab: you peice of shit. he phears. Alien calls radison hotels guy: Hello, my name is luke, and how may I help you? alien: I'm looking for a hotel on jupiter? guy: and what state is that in? alien: I beleive it's in the milky way, I don't believe it's in any states. *** long pause, it occurs to me that he's trying to trace. (*clik* I hang up) I guess someone failed astronomy and geography. Alien Calls Taco Bell *** voice menu *** I select 3 for taco bell plush toy inquiries taco bell operator: hello, how may I help you? alien: how much does the plush dog cost? taco bell operator: in stores it's $3.99. alien: does it vibrate? taco bell operator: no, it talks. alien: can you get it to talk dirty? taco bell operator: no, is that all? alien: yeah. *clik* Alien calls 1-800-DEMOCRAT voice message: you have reached the office of XXXX XXXXX, please leave your name and address and we'll call you back. alienbinary: yeah, I was thinking of becoming a democrat, and I was wondering if I get a cigar if I do. Yeah, a wet one, and a cute little intern as well. I hope you get my voicemail. *** pound key voice message: recording stopped. alienbinary: *clik* Alien calls 1-800-MATTRESS slut who sells furniture: hello, and thank you for calling 1-800-MATTRESS, how may I help you. alienbinary: yeah, well you see... STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING ON MY FUCKING TV! *clik*